Tip #32 Holiday Tips For Every Outdoors Person

Camping Hints & Tips: Looking for a solution to some of those tough dilemas everyone in the outdoors encounters on occasion? Here are a whole bunch that will put a smile on your face. Thanks to Terry Sacora up in Fairbanks for passing these jewels along.

When using a public campground, a tuba placed on your 
picnic table will keep the campsites on either side vacant.

Get even with a bear who raided your food bag by kicking 
his favorite stump apart and eating all the ants.

A hot rock placed in your sleeping bag will keep your 
feet warm. A hot enchilada works almost as well, but 
the cheese sticks between your toes.

The best backpacks are named for national parks or 
mountain ranges. Steer clear of those named for landfills.

While the Swiss Army Knife has been popular for years, 
the Swiss Navy Knife has remained largely unheralded. 
Its single blade functions as a tiny canoe paddle.

Modern rain suits made of fabrics that "breathe" enable 
campers to stay dry in a downpour. Rain suits that sneeze, 
cough, and belch, however, have been proven to add 
absolutely nothing to the wilderness experience.

Lint from your navel makes a handy fire starter. 
Warning: Remove lint from navel before applying the match.

You'll never be lost if you remember that moss always 
grows on the north side of your compass.

You can duplicate the warmth of a down-filled bedroll 
by climbing into a plastic garbage bag with several geese.

The canoe paddle, a simple device used to propel a boat, 
should never be confused with a gnu paddle, a similar 
device used by Tibetan veterinarians.

When camping, always wear a long-sleeved shirt. It gives 
you something to wipe your nose on.

Take this simple test to see if you qualify for solo camping: 
Shine a flashlight into one ear. If the beam shines out 
the other ear, do not go into the woods alone.

A two-man pup tent does not include two men or a pup.

A potato baked in the coals for one hour makes an excellent 
side dish. A potato baked in the coals for three hours 
makes an excellent hockey puck.

In emergency situations, you can survive in the wilderness 
by shooting small game with a slingshot made from the 
elastic waistband of your underwear.

The guitar of the noisy teenager at the next campsite 
makes excellent kindling.

The sight of a bald eagle has thrilled campers for 
generations. The sight of a bald man, however, does 
absolutely nothing for the eagle.

It's entirely possible to spend your whole vacation on 
a winding mountain road behind a large motor home.

Bear bells provide an element of safety for hikers in 
grizzly country. The tricky part is getting them on 
the bears.

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