Camping Hints & Tips:
Looking for a solution to some of those tough dilemas everyone in the outdoors encounters on occasion? Here are a whole bunch that will put a smile on your face. Thanks to Terry Sacora up in Fairbanks for passing these jewels along.
- When using a public campground, a tuba placed on your
picnic table will keep the campsites on either side vacant.
- Get even with a bear who raided your food bag by kicking
his favorite stump apart and eating all the ants.
- A hot rock placed in your sleeping bag will keep your
feet warm. A hot enchilada works almost as well, but
the cheese sticks between your toes.
- The best backpacks are named after national parks or
mountain ranges. Steer clear of those named after landfills.
- While the Swiss Army Knife has been popular for years,
the Swiss Navy Knife has remained largely unheralded.
Its single blade functions as a tiny canoe paddle.
- Modern rain suits made of fabrics that "breathe" enable
campers to stay dry in a downpour. Rain suits that sneeze,
cough, and belch, however, have been proven to add
absolutely nothing to the wilderness experience.
- Lint from your navel makes a handy fire starter.
Warning: Remove lint from navel before applying the match.
- You'll never be lost if you remember that moss always
grows on the north side of your compass.
- You can duplicate the warmth of a down-filled bedroll
by climbing into a plastic garbage bag with several geese.
- The canoe paddle, a simple device used to propel a boat,
should never be confused with a gnu paddle, a similar
device used by Tibetan veterinarians.
- When camping, always wear a long-sleeved shirt. It gives
you something to wipe your nose on.
- Take this simple test to see if you qualify for solo camping:
Shine a flashlight into one ear. If the beam shines out
the other ear, do not go into the woods alone.
- A two-man pup tent does not include two men or a pup.
- A potato baked in the coals for one hour makes an excellent
side dish. A potato baked in the coals for three hours
makes an excellent hockey puck.
- In emergency situations, you can survive in the wilderness
by shooting small game with a slingshot made from the
elastic waistband of your underwear.
- The guitar of the noisy teenager at the next campsite
makes excellent kindling.
- The sight of a bald eagle has thrilled campers for
generations. The sight of a bald man, however, does
absolutely nothing for the eagle.
- It's entirely possible to spend your whole vacation on
a winding mountain road behind a large motor home.
- Bear bells provide an element of safety for hikers in
grizzly country. The tricky part is getting them on